


Deadpool and Me

by Azura



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other, Physical Disability, Violence, Your Usual Deadpool stuff, as in reader has the ability to change their sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:04:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6157507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azura/pseuds/Azura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader has been transported to the MCU and the first friendly face they see is hidden behind a red and black mask.  Can they adapt to this new world and find a place to fit at long last? Will their new powers be too much to handle? </p>
<p>Reader is genderqueer and one of their powers is their body changes sex depending on the reader's gender at the time.  Reader had physical disabilities before transfer to this universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Explosions

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I'm not expecting anyone to read this, Shameless wish fufillment fic.

BOOM!

It takes Deadpool a few minutes to get up from that one, he only came to this god forsaken patch of american soil because there was supposedly one bunker left of the weapon X project. He’d come to destroy it and have a good time doing it dammit, but of course of, fucking course, as soon as he walks into the building it blows the fuck up. It wasn’t even his fault this time! He of course ended up absolutely shredded with shrapnel from the blast. He laid on the floor for minutes letting his scarred body push the bits of glass, science equipment and shit he guessed, metal and fucking plastic out of his body. Pain seared through him every time one of those little pieces of shit fell out of him. Whoever blew this place up intended to level the bitch and he wanted to know who it was. Right now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to shake their hand or tear their god damn head off for it. He had wanted to destroy it! He had wanted to come in here, guns blazing and either shoot or cut to pieces anything that moved. The boxes were bickering over the subject as he walked over the bodies of the small amount staff who had worked there. The project really must be going under if this was all that was left. Didn't even seem like it was worth his time now, maybe the person behind the blast would get away with it. But really, this one small bunker in the middle of Fairbanks, Virginia was all that was left? He liked Virginia usually, it made him think of vaginas. Speaking of vaginas he was totally getting tacos after this. Mmmm... Tacos. 

It didn’t take him long to find the center of the blast. It was easy enough to tell that this was where it originated. A single person was left alive (he was pretty sure) and laid in the middle of the floor, surrounded by blood, gore and glass. They must have had them in the tank he guessed, it reminded him a little of his origin and he wondered if the writer was referencing that when they wrote this bit of shit. Yellow argued that he burned his facility to the ground, this place just.. exploded? White argued that yeah, it was close a damn ‘nough and the writer should just get on with it before they get pissy. 

He stared for a minute at the person in front of him as he kneeled down to poke them, were they alive? I mean if they weren’t completely stark naked and relatively whole and clean he would think they were just another dead body. They were distinctly female in body shape, and breathing from the looks of things. 

‘Time to give mouth to mouth!’ Yellow shouted.

‘She’s clearly breathing idiot mouth to mouth would be pointless’ White grumbled irritably. 

“Would you two shut up I’m just going to shake her.” Wade mumbled as he gently placed his gloved hand on the prone female before him, and shook with a gentleness that he was surprised he still possessed.

BAM!

He staggered back just a step. Her hand came off the ground and weakly punched him in the face. In. The. Face. Why? Who wakes up swinging like that? Oh right, he did. Oh well. He held his face and looked down at the woman curiously. 

\----

You slowly pushed yourself off the ground and cursed under your breath as you struggled to stand. How long had you been out? Where even were you? This was most definitely not your house. Why was there so much smoke and broken glass? You look up and lock eyes with him.

“Deadpool?” You question, this really just couldn’t be, he was fiction. You watched his movie, read his comics. Hell you even had a Deadpool necklace. He was your favorite. You felt such a connection with his character, the mental illness, the body discomfort, the jokes to hide the pain. All of it. Hell he’d inspired you so much that he made it so you could get up in the morning. If Deadpool could keep going then so the hell could you dammit, but that didn't make him real! How the hell was a fictional character standing in front of you looking like you'd hit him? Oh god. Oh god no you'd hit him. You woke up punching again shit!

“Sup?” He waves grinning through his mask. “You make this place blow up? If so I must say nice work, definitely 10/10 on the lethality scale.” He gave a slow clap for effect.

“What?” You stared at him bewildered for a moment before it dawned on you that, for one, you were naked, Naked! Two, you were standing and not in a terrible amount of pain other than the shards of glass you stepped on when you stood. Three, your body is a lot more fit than it was before, you have muscles, you’re at a healthy weight. 

Then, it all comes rushing back, you feel your eyes blank out as you stare past Deadpool, at the solid cement wall and remember what brought you to this place.


	2. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly happened before Deadpool found you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer than last time, by roughly double. Enjoy!

You sat in your small apartment, it wasn’t much, but it really was all you could afford on what state benefits you had. You had what you needed though, and that's what mattered. You had a small television, gifted from the parents who never visited. You had all the food EBT could buy and a stove to cook it on. What you didn’t have was a bright outlook on life, the only thing that really kept you from ending it most days was a really sad excuse. Your favorite Anti-hero lived through pain and discomfort every day and kept going, you could too right? It didn’t matter much that he was fictional. You loved him. You loved the scars that he hid. You loved the fact that he didn’t hide his mental illness from the word but seemed to enjoy himself with it. You loved that he kept going even after being killed. You hated that he hid his pain, but you could understand it. No one wants to see you hurting, and pride is something you have very little of when you’re in a situation such as his. His humor was something you’d adopted into your own life, use it to mask how you’re really feeling and soon enough you were making jokes for real. 

A knock at the door shocked you out of your comic and you struggled to stand, your joints screamed underneath you and your back felt like it was crumbling under the pressure muscles were putting on it. You’d taken your medicine today right? You couldn’t remember. So many pills every single day. One for Depression, One for anxiety, Two for the pain, Two for the muscle spasms, a stomach protector, and finally, a multi vitamin. You’d taken them today you were fairly sure, before breakfast. You’d made a breakfast burrito, eggs, a little bit of taco meat left over from last night’s dinner, some cheese and some tater tots. Pretty cheap for what it was and you could eat them forever. Honestly who doesn't love a good breakfast burrito. Maybe you’d have one for lunch today too… 

You stumbled your way to the door, laughing at yourself and your failed attempts at keeping yourself upright for more than a minute as well as how you’d gone from whether you’d taken your medicine to burritos. Someone’s had too much to drink today~ Not. You almost wished though. You open it and glare out at the men in suits outside. Who the fuck? Great. Mormans. It isn’t even Saturday you fucks! Wait.. those are Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t they? What schedule do Morman’s keep again? Why did it even matter again?

“Look I’m not interested in your bible. Got enough literature without reading about Jesus.” You practically growl out. Maybe if you were scary enough they’d take the hint. 

“I’m sorry? Miss we’re here to offer you something you may find interesting. According to our records you’ve been on state assistance for a while… You have outstanding student loans and debts that need to be paid and you’ve recently applied for disability.” The tallest one practically boomed as he spoke, he was dark skinned and well built by the looks of it. His voice was going to get old quick though. Its baritone loudness rumbled into your ears like thunder cracking inside your head and you really couldn’t stand it when that happened. 

“Right okay great, you know my history. Get to the part of the offer I might actually be happy to hear about.” You were starting to get a headache, maybe you hadn’t taken something with breakfast, fuck, were you so excited about your burritos you forgot? You probably did. 

The smaller one cleared his throat before speaking, his voice was softer, but more self assured. He knew he wasn’t someone to be messed with and he didn’t feel the need to speak any louder than he had to. He could prove his worth in other ways. “We’re offering to repay your debts, right now. As long as you agree to enter the program, then once it's over we’ll help you become a productive member of society again. You would be able to get off of government assistance and be able to take care of yourself.” 

It was too good to be true. You knew it, no one would pay off tens of thousands of dollars of debt, and then help you get back on your feet for nothing. This program they were talking about had to be one hell of a jump, but.. But you didn’t have anything to lose did you? What you were going to take this life of suffering, eating hand to mouth, cursing yourself every step you took over the possibility of doing literally anything else? “I’m in.” Escapes your mouth before you think any further. 

“We haven’t explained the program to you yet.” The larger one said loudly. 

You wince as his voice reaches you, the headache was already turning into something worse and you could start to see the aura’s starting up. “Fine, but he has to tell me about it your voice hurts.” 

The smaller man chuckled softly, “Sorry, he doesn’t mean to be loud. The last person we visited was hard of hearing. The program is an experimental procedure, it should help us detect exactly what's wrong, and then based on what your medical files already have told us, should be able to cure you. This program has only just moved into human trials and could be dangerous, you need to be informed of that before you agree.”

“I’m in.” You repeat. Of course you were, be free of this hell? Even if it didn’t work, if it was dangerous what's the worst that could happen? You would die? You’ve tried before. 

You left with them then, traveled in their government issued vehicle to a small bunker in Fairbanks Virgina. Fuck that was a long drive. It didn’t take long for them to start the procedure, you were expecting to have to wait or something, but there didn’t seem to be anyone waiting. Maybe you were the first to say yes. That idea worried you a little, but not enough to turn and leave. The walls were that beigh you came to expect at doctors offices and government buildings. there was a waiting room, even a receptionist. 

The whole place looked completely legitimate, you even had to fill out paperwork, but honestly that was a bit strange in it of itself. It didn’t ask the normal “What are you allergic to, has anyone in your family ever been diagnosed with --” stuff. It asked stuff like, have you ever had anything unusual happen to you? You answered honestly, they provided roughly three pages for you to report on. You went from the little oddities to the large. First off was the electric shocks you get from touching almost anything, the battery drains, the electronics failures. Have you ever seen any ghosts? Explain. You told about the figures you’d seen as a child. You felt really silly putting all this on a government form. But they already knew you were ‘crazy’ right? So what's the harm? 

It asked you if you’d ever been in any freak accidents and how you were harmed if at all. You told them honestly that yes, there had been really strange accidents especially when you were younger. Mostly things exploding, why did things always have to explode? You never got hurt. That’s all that mattered. 

Were you ever stronger than your peers? 

Yeah actually, people were always surprised at the stuff you could carry when you were having a good day. When you could actually walk you could carry things that were normally considered pretty heavy fairly easily. 

The rest of the questions were even weirder, could you breath under water? Well of course not. Were you smarter than your peers? Well you wished you could say yes but… no unfortunately not. Other than the things you’d already put you were fairly average. Minus the bit where you were constantly in pain and more than a little mentally unstable. 

Soon they took your paperwork and looked over it, humming a bit as they mixed a vial of liquid before injecting the inky black substance into your arm. You briefly wondered if you were in for another bone scan but then they hooked you up to a machine, naked except for your medical gown. You were almost happy to be laying down, even if it was on a hard bed. The machine looked like your typical CT machine, you weren’t exactly sure where they were going with this or how this could possibly give them any information they didn’t already have. But you kept quiet, just like you always do. 

They began the scan, when your foot reached the barrier of the circular overhead you felt a zing travel through you, like ice on a broken tooth. Then people started yelling, you recognize the word ‘abort’. a folder is placed on your chest and you wonder why the hell if they were trying to abort the mission why they would put something on you. You realize a bit too late the barrier is already up to your hips. The world seems to start to go black as more of your body passes through the circular machine, until finally, there’s nothing left. 

When you awaken you’re naked and on a cold metal table, your hands and feet are shackled down and you can barely turn your head. “What?...” You start.

“Ahh looks like she’s awake. Welcome, we weren’t expecting you to just materialize onto our table but since you’re here, we may as well use you. The people who sent you even had the heart to send us your records and what they’d done to you so far.”

Not much was said to you after that, you tried to curse them, to laugh in their faces as you were tortured, nothing made them stop. You were there for months, injections and tests and torture. Exercise by means of electric currents, meals through tubes. Then, they placed you in a glass chamber, you were never fond of small places. That’s when it happened, a small spark. Your hand sparked into the air and it traveled to the oxygen tanks, to the sensitive equipment. Then a deafening boom as everything was too bright and your skin felt as though it was melting away as it faded to dark. Pain surged through your body as you coughed and sputtered up blood. Then you were out. 

That’s where he found you.


End file.
